JendaLynne Photography: March 2013

First lets start off at my last doctors appt on Wednesday January 2nd. I had my membranes striped & was dilated to a 3 already. She said she didn't forsee me going past the weekend. She was concerned about my blood pressure which was 140/90. It had been a little high since I turned 36 weeks. So she took me off work. When I left the contractions I had been having got alittle worse. I don't know if I imagined it or not but it sure felt like it. That night I was up all night getting baby stuff together & ready. I sure felt different that whole night. Thursday night came & went with mild contrations that where in my back. Nothing I couldn't handel. Friday I woke up with really bad back pains. I just thought I might have slept wrong or it was just sore from carring a big baby. Friday at around 3pm my contractions where about 5 minutes apart consistantly. It was all in my back. I will for warn you. Back labor SUCKS! The baby was face up so that is what caused my back labor. Me & my husband drove to my father's house with all of our bags packed because he lives about 5 minutes from the hospital. Thinking these contractions would let up we hung out around the house. My step mother rubbed my back to get them to ease up. They where coming on stronger as the night passed. I called my doctor at about 630pm & it was the on call doctor. I couldn't speak so my mother spoke to her. told her I lost my mucus plug, I had my bloody show, & my contractions where about 3-4 minutes apart now. She told me to go for a walk to get myself dilated to more than a 3 & to eat because I wasn't going to eat once they checked me into the hospital. So me & my mom went for a walk around the block & then I ate a piece of toast with some spice chia latte. I was not up for eating. I texted all my sisters & contacted my mother. Told them I would be heading to the hospital shortly becasue the contractions where becoming stronger & more intense. Once my sisters showed up we where off to the hospital. We got checked in at about 930pm Friday night. My mother showed up with my aunt & her daughter. So far it was Kelly, Megan, Sam, Hubby, Mom, Deeanna, Tooter, & Kevin. I was in room 105 to start out with. They checked me & I was still a 3 at about 10pm. At 1230am I was at a 4. I walked the halls all night with my husband, mom, & aunt. They all took turns rubbing my back with tennis balls. My nurse to start out with was Dawn & she was amazing! I loved her. She was with me 100 percent through my whole birth plan. At about 2 I was a 5. I birthed on the birthing ball, I laid in the bed, I got in the shower & let the hot water run down my back. The pain was terrible but I bared through it. My husband was amazing through the whole thing. He was very quite but there by my side through everything. At about 530am Dawn asked me if I would like to get into the whirl pool. I agreed. She checked me & I was about a 6. I was in the tub for an hour & a half. at 7am I got out of the tub & got on the ball. Dawn was on her way out for the day. Shelly my new nurse came in. She was just as awesome! I had a great birthing team. My contractions where so intense now & I was so exhausted I question my ability to birth my baby naturally. I fought through the pain until about 9am. I then begged for the epidural. The pain was so intense it felt as if my back was going to snap in half. I cried because I thought I was a failure. I asked my husband if he was disappointed in me. He said never & that he was proud of me. I was so exhausted at this point I had no clue what was going on. they tried about 10 times for an IV to give me fluids. I was so upset. I yelled I am never going to get the epidural if you have to empty a whole bag of fluids in me. They finally got an IV in me at about 10am. The doctor came in to give me the epidural & missed 5 times. I yelled at him to get another person because he was not getting it. I was having contraction after contraction & he was making it worse by missing the site. He sent in anothe doctor who apparently was an angel because he got it with in 5 minutes. I then felt numb on my left side but could feel everything on my right! WTF? So he adjusted the catheter & bam finally it helped. I laid there laboring with the epidural for a while. I napped I drank, I ate ice, & I chatted with my family. At about 2pm They checked me & I was a 9 1/2. The baby was still at a -1. They wanted the baby lower so I could start pushing but nothing was happening. So they gave me pitocin to bring the baby down. At 4pm they checked me again & baby moved down a little but not enough. Shelly wanted me to practice push to see if the baby would come down. My step mom was by my head, My husband was on my right leg, my sisters girlfriend was holding my left leg. I pushed for my nurse for about an hour. I could tell by the look on her face that nothing was happening. She said she could see hair & that my sisters could as well. I just knew something wasn't right. The doctor came in & I seen her face. She was not pleased. At about 530pm she mentioned a c section. I cried & bawled. I didn't want one. This was not in my birth plan. I asked everyone to leave the room so I could speak to my husband. I told him maybe it was best to get a c section to prevent an emergency one. He agreed & we cried together. I cried for the fear of dying & not being there for my husband & baby. My family came back in & we told them our decision. I cried with them as they all cried. They knew this is not what I envisioned. The doctor came in & was so sweet. She rubbed my head & told me she wouldn't let anything happen to me. I believed her. Dr. Pentar the doctor who would be my anesthesiologist spoke with me & told me that he as well would take good care of me. They prepared me for surgery as I spent the time with my family. I kissed my husband & my family & the next time I would see them I would be a mother. I was wheeled back down the hall at about 10 to 7pm. I was alone at first as they prepped me. They told me what was going on. I thought I would freak out but I was so calm. I somehow knew I was going to see my baby soon & that made everything all better. My husband came in as they started to cut. The process to get the baby out was so fast. Baby Hardy was born at 1912 on January 5th. She was perfect. Every 7lbs of her. And they thought she was a big baby. She is so tiny. I cried so loud how beautiful she was. My husband announced to me what it was since we didn't know the gender. I made him run over to her to take some photos. It seemed like forever for them to get me back together. Hardy came back over to me with her & I kissed her & told her I loved her. They then took her to the nursery & he went with her. He was going to stay until I told him to go with her. I laid on the table as I heard the doctors yell something about infection & bleeding. I wouldn't stop bleeding & they could smell infection in my placenta. Great I thought my worse nightmare is coming true. Dr. Pentar rubbed my head & told me to relax. This was all happening as my vision got blurry & white. I was freaking out. He started telling me everything they where doing. at about 815pm they where finally done. I was wheeled into recovery & just remember thinking about Georgia the whole time. I kept asking when she was coming to the room & what they where doing with her. Finally they wheeled her into my room. She was laid on my chest as we looked at each other! She was perfect! Oh my was she ever. I breastfed her right away & she latched on perfectly. This is what my life was all about. This little creature was amazing. She stayed 5 days in the hospital I stayed 4. We spent about 12 hours apart and it was terrible. She was fed donors breast milk & I pumped every 2 hours. Georgia came home January 10th at 830 am. Me & hubby where there bright and early after her last dose of antibiotics.

Please stay tuned for monthly updates on Georgia. :)

Jeremiah 1:5, 8 Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born I set you apart. Do not be afraid...for I am with you...declares the Lord!

Today is my first day back to work since December. I knew this day would approach faster than I wanted it to. Georgia is 9 weeks as of Saturday and I thought I would be ok with going back. I just feel so overwhelmed with anxiety. My husband is staying home with her for now and he knows her as well as I do (so I hope.) I wanted to write down a few things so that I can let them go and move on. Instead of stressing about them. Georgia is breastfed so it worries me that she wont get fed like she would if I was there. I pump for her to have a few bottles while I am working. She eats usually every two hours. I am worried my husband may not know her hunger cry. I just need to relax and trust that things will be ok. Yea I wouldn't mind being a stay at home mom but unfortunately that is not in the cards for now. I love my job and like that I can get out of the house for 5 hours of the day. Oh I didn't mention Georgia refused to sleep last night. She went to bed about 115 am this morning. Every time me or my husband got her to sleep we would set her down in our bed and she would pop her eyes open and cry. I may be exaggerating when I say she knew mama was leaving her in the morning. :( I worry that she may not remember me when I get home. I also worry she might forget to latch on because she will have had about 3-4 bottles by the time I get home at 1240pm. All I can do is hope for the best for all 3 of us. I know God will work it all out in the end. I know not everyone is going to take care of my baby the way I do. In a mother's eye she is the best for her child but the father is just as good. (minus the boobs)

We live by faith, not by sight. - 2 Corinthians 5:7